Pavlo Bobrek

A Eulogy for Ivan Bobrek

Ivan was my oldest brother, by 15 years. My memories of Ivan go back to when I was not much older than his grandson, Christian, and Ivan was a young man in his early twenties.

We had just immigrated to America. Tato and Mama had to work long hours to feed a family of eight. The older kids had to take care of the younger ones. As my oldest brother, Ivan was like a second father to me.

Through a child's eyes, I saw a young man, struggling to find a place for himself in a foreign land. He would close himself in his room and pace tirelessly, repeating phrases out of an English language book until he mastered them. He knew that the first step to fit in was to speak well. It is from watching him study that I first learned what it meant to study and it contributed to my success in school.

Besides speaking well, Ivan knew that to be socially accepted, he had to dress well. He also knew that Tato and Mama couldn't afford to give money to the kids for candy. So Ivan gave me the first job I ever had. I would look forward to every weekend because Ivan would pay me 50 cents or a dollar to shine his shoes. That was a lot of money for a little kid in the 60's, when you could buy a bottle of soda for 10 cents or a candy bar for a nickel. I remember going to the candy store that was at the bottom of the hill off Chapman Street. The other kids would be begging me to buy them something with the money Ivan taught me to earn.

As I grew, I got to know Ivan as a man of uncompromising principles. For anything that Ivan felt was important to do, HE PUT HIS WHOLE HEART INTO IT, often naively believing that somehow this would be enough even when others could not share in his devotion.

I moved away from home to attend college and later got a job out of town. When I would come home from time to time to visit my family in Willimantic, Ivan would always graciously invite me over to his house. After dinner, we'd talk about any news concerning people we knew. But there would usually come a point in our conversations, which often lasted into the early hours of the morning, when Ivan would spill his soul to me.

I cannot begin to tell you in these few minutes all that he said. But there are some things that I cannot leave unsaid. To not say them at this last gathering in his honor would be to deny his purpose for living the last years of his life.

Ivan was consumed by concern for his sons Miroslav and, especially, Roman. With divided custody, it tortured him that Roman did not live with him, that he could not guide and influence his character or protect him. It pained him that the human powers that be would grant him no more than a few morsels of time with his youngest son.

I ask you then, is it not God's providence that, as compensation, Ivan was granted a last opportunity to live with Roman in the remaining year of his life?

Miroslav and Roman both learned when young men fall into misfortune what it means to have a devoted father there to stand by them, to rescue them, to nurture them, and when he saw fit, to scold them.

But now, HE IS NO MORE!

Miroslav and Roman, carry the goodness of Ivan's character in your heart as a beacon to guide you. That is one way you can still respect his efforts to help you avoid the pitfalls of life. Put all your heart and devotion into those you love as your father gave you all of his heart until it became too exhausted to sustain his life.

Ivan loved to sing! He loved poetry. He would help me to memorize long poems and dramatically act them out. Many of you remember my poetry recitations as a young man, at the end of which more than one person would have tears in his eyes. That was Ivan talking to you through me! I could not have done it without his direction, coaching, and encouragement.

On the way here from the airport, my cousin Peter gave me a translation of a poem I would like to share with you.

If you want to make somebody happy,
By wishing him all the best
Do it today
In your life brother, yes, in your life

If you want to give somebody a flower?
Give it today with love
In your life brother, yes, in your life

If you want to say "I love you"
To your intimate,
Close or distant friend,
Say it in your life brother, yes, in your life

Do not wait for somebody's death
To declare his goodness
And fill him with your love,
In your life brother, yes, do it in your life

You will be very happy
If you learn to share your happiness
With everybody you know
In your life brother, yes in your life

Instead of visiting cemeteries,
Instead of loading tomb stones with flowers,
Fill your hearts with love
In your life brother, yes, in your life

Ivan, I will always cherish the moments I shared with you. We will never forget you.

VICHNAYA PAMYAT!